THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES

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Are You Living in a Story That Isn’t True?

Have you ever remembered something so clearly—a moment, a conversation, a failure—only to discover later that it didn’t happen the way you thought?

You’re not alone.

Your brain is wired to fill in gaps. It connects emotional dots and builds narratives to make sense of chaos. But sometimes, it gets it wrong. That phenomenon has a name: confabulation—the lies we honestly tell ourselves.

And if you don’t confront those false stories, they’ll quietly shape your reality.

What Is Confabulation?

Confabulation isn't about lying to others—it's about unintentionally lying to ourselves.

It’s the brain’s way of protecting us from uncertainty or trauma by creating plausible but inaccurate memories or beliefs. It happens more often than you think:

  • "I always mess things up."

  • "They left because I wasn’t enough."

  • "I’ll never succeed—just like last time."

These may not be facts, but if they feel familiar, your brain may have rehearsed them so often they now feel like truth.

How Confabulation Affects Your Mental and Emotional Health

The stories we believe impact:

  • Self-worth and confidence

  • Decision-making

  • Relationships and leadership

  • Resilience in the face of failure

When we accept distorted narratives as fact, we limit what’s possible. We relive the past instead of rewriting the future.

5 Ways to Break Free From False Narratives

1. Question the Familiar

Ask yourself:

“Is this true—or just a story I’ve repeated long enough to believe it?”

Familiar isn’t always factual.

2. Seek Alternative Perspective

Talk to trusted friends, mentors, or therapists. Let them reflect back a different version of the story. Truth often lives in the in-between.

3. Write, Then Reframe

Journal the narrative you’re stuck in. Then rewrite it with new language—rooted in grace, truth, and possibility.

4. Practice Future-Focused Thinking

Don’t build your tomorrow based on yesterday’s fiction. Begin to speak to your future—not your fear.

5. Embrace the Power of Conscious Choice

You don’t have to be the version of you that pain created. You can choose growth, peace, and clarity.

Reclaim the Pen

Confabulation may be the mind’s attempt to fill in blanks, but you are the author now.

“Your life is not limited by what happened to you—it’s shaped by what you believe about what happened.”

So change the belief. Change the story. Change the outcome.

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